Don’t get me wrong. Before I met Manfried, I was perfectly content to never have kids. Even now most of the time I’m largely ambivalent, but Manfried totally wants kids, so I figure, why the hell not?

And then I start thinking about it. Well, I start having feelings about it, lovey dovey smooshy wooshy feelings. And all those feelings, it’s no good to bury ’em, right? They gotta go somewhere.

And then, two days after getting a puppy, I realized babies are a jesus fuckton of work and decided any real kids we have I’ll just duct tape to the ceiling and be done with it.

I’m cool with the puppy, tho. She can stay.