Normally I go back and read all my comics this time of year to sort of map out my journey, but things took a hard left this year when I realized that most of the goals I had for myself when I started are…..juvenile. I’m still sorta reeling from that, from the realization that I’ve got a pretty good thing here, and maybe I don’t need to lean on the crutch of impossible dreams as a means of escaping my life.

This is all sounding kinda depressing. I think what I mean is this year saw a departure from my dissatisfaction with my life, a departure from the belief that I’m not good enough, a departure from the ideas of all the things I *should* do in order to be successful and happy. I have, in fact, reached successful and happy.

I’ve many, many blessings in my life right now. Including even seeing enough money from drawing and comics and other revenue streams that I think next years taxes may require an actual CPA. How very grown up of me, indeed.

Which has sort of left me with an existential quandary of where do we go from here. If I no longer have a need for fame and riches, then what do I need? What do I want? Who even am I?

34th birthday was on Wednesday. As always, I celebrate because I almost didn’t live past 30. And rather than a singular event, my path to recovery has been fraught with near-misses since then. So I’m glad to be here, glad that I’ve gotten treatment, glad that I can keep doing …stuff.

Whatever that stuff turns out to be đŸ™‚

↓ Transcript
Three panels. In the first, Jaydot appears in a classic meditation pose from the waist up, her short hair looking particularly spikey and flamelike. Above her head appears the thought, "I meditate, awaiting the arrival of the tribute."

In the second panel, we see Jaydot's face from the nose up. The caption reads, "Ah, there it is."

Third panel the perspective draws back to show us Jaydot sitting with her legs crossed in a puddle of bright red blood. She raises her arms and declares triumphantly, "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!"