I turn 32 today…which is not too shabby for someone who almost didn’t live to age 30. This morning in the car “We Are The Champions” came on the radio, and I felt a little bit of that victory for myself. No bed of roses and no pleasure cruise, but with a lot of help and some good health care I’m in a pretty amazing place now.

Some things haven’t changed from last year. I started off this semi-auto-bio journal comic talking about my kitchen ceiling falling in. I still have a gaping hole in my kitchen ceiling, and while I’ve done a bunch of work on the tub above it, it’s still, maddeningly, leaking. The joys of homeownership, yayyyyyy.

But a lot of cool stuff happened too. I got to have a table at Geek Girl Con. I’ve done a years worth of comics, even if I had to take a break for being sick from getting flippin’ pregnant. I just got actually paid for an article I wrote for The Mary Sue, which is probably the first time I’ve ever been paid in real people money for something I wrote. That’s still pretty shiny. I’ve done a year of podcasts, more or less, and still find myself really enjoying talking about the finer points of video games. I’m usually not great at sticking to commitments, much less weekly ones, but I wake up Sunday mornings to record the podcast entirely happy to be doing so.

This year I started writing a short story a week. I promptly fell a week behind, but whatevs, I’ve still written a handful of short stories and hope to write a few more. At the end of the year if I have anywhere close to 52 short stories I’ll be stoked, and if I’m extra lucky, a few of them may even be good.

Therapy is still ongoing; I had a bit of a breakdown due to baby anxiety this past weekend, so I’m by no means magically cured of all my problems. But I’m a long way from the suicidal me that I was a couple years ago, and I really like that. I really like that I look forward to seeing my friends instead of dreading how much I’ll embarass myself. It’s not exactly a 180 on how my life has been up to this point, but it feels really really good to look forward to anything that isn’t hiding under the covers in my pajamas.

The pregnant thing is nuts. Totally nuts. Two years ago I’d’ve told you I didn’t want kids. And then I softened and realized that I didn’t want kids unless I found a guy who wanted kids and who made me feel secure. This is how I got pregnant accidentally-on-purpose. I thought it would take some time and effort to get pregnant, so when my birth control prescription ran out I wasn’t too worried about it. Manfried and I had talked about having kids and I was amenable to it, but most of our predictions rested on a previous inability to conceive with my ex husband, so I wasn’t expecting much. Well you know what they say–want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans.

I recently had to close my online shop, but that was largely because I didn’t have the time and energy to put into properly promoting it, and it was costing me $20 a month. Not a ton of money, overall, but not money well spent if I wasn’t utilizing the storefront. I’m looking into alternatives like StoreEnvy right now, onces that take a larger cut of the actual sales, but where I don’t feel guilty not making any sales because that way I’m not losing any money.

It’s been an interesting year, anyway. Sometimes I wonder whether I really want to be committed to a three-day-a-week webcomic, but mostly I remember that a) I like making comics, even if a schedule is boring and hard to stick to, and b) in the end it’s my comic, and if I miss a day or two because of whatever reasons, there’s no boss and no company and no bottom line. I do this because I like making journals, and I’ve kept one in some form or another since I was ten years old. This is my journal, and I’ll write and draw what I like with it.

I’m looking forward to another year of doing what I want online 🙂 I love that other people enjoy my dorky, dorky jokes as well, and I’m really glad to have y’all along for the ride.

Hugs and kisses!! – Jaydot